Musings in solitude...

The power of self

2011-10-02T05:30:00.000-07:00

Lost.

The frame of mind most of us seem to be in. Surprisingly, we seem to be more lost than ever when it comes to the most important decisions of our life. Career, family and love. Being one of the most intellectually empowered species, why is it so difficult to make our own decisions?

The answer stems back to a startling and profound truth. We hardly listen to ourselves. The little voice in your head is clouded by the myriad of judgments and opinions around you. We have learnt to live by reacting to our environment. Every thought is governed by the outlook and the acceptance of society, friends, our generation and most importantly, our family.

It's no surprise that we feel so disoriented as we try to walk the path advocated by the multiple facets of our life. And when the decision is not completely ours to begin with, it is hardly startling that we are so easily shaken from our path by even the slightest iota of self-doubt. That infantile skepticism transforms rapidly into a volley of confusion and once again, instead of listening to our instincts, we turn to a confidante to lead the path once more. A vicious circle.

How, then, does one begin to listen to their gut feeling? I took 5 minutes of time away from my routine life and tried to listen to what my instinct was saying to me. If you're doing this for the first time, you'll realize it turns out to be an unexpectedly difficult task to listen to yourself without wanting to indulge back in to the world (check your phone, watch the time or continue doing your prior tasks). Once you have got started though, a sense of calmness envelops you as you grow surer of your unadulterated thoughts.

It’s not a life-altering experience and to expect fireworks would be quite foolish. Yet, the relief and mental stability that ensued was nothing short of a wonder. The feeling of anger, helplessness and frustration is replaced by a sense of quietude and strength.

The answers to every troubling question that has left you in despair...You don't need to look out for it.You just need to look inside.

Pointing Fingers - The oldest game known by mankind

2010-04-25T01:02:00.000-07:00

When the first cavewoman must hv found her food store ransacked, I'm sure she got this reply..."It wasn't me! It was him..."

The art of laying the entire blame on someone else has been mastered over the years by the human race. It got even more techno-savvy when the media jumped in.

Take the IPL for instance, the greatest on-screen drama since Othello...It has all the ingredients it needs to qualify for a 24*7 exposure on nation-wide television. Glamour, Politicians, Shady deals, Huge money..it doesn't take too long for a combination like that to present itself as a gold mine for the sensationalism-hungry journalists..And boy, did they strike it rich!

While Lalit Modi and Shashi Tharoor pummelled each other and screamed themselves hoarse saying "I'm completely blemishless..It was HIM all along", more characters took to the pointing-finger sport on the stage. Dive in Sharad Pawar, an absolute ace at this game, with his hands in every murky deal that goes on..and presto, the "It wasn't me" phrase just got repeated exponentially!

Do we hope for a day when everyone would take complete responsibility for their actions? Hell,no...If we'd to, we'd be in deep s*** with our managers, professors and spouses! All we need to do is to make sure that 'Pointing fingers at someone else' gets listed as one of the virtues. Then we can happily point fingers at corrupt politicians while we shirk our responsibilities with ease.

A pretty Saturday Afternoon

2009-06-06T04:11:00.000-07:00

Its a Saturday afternoon. And its beautiful. Simply beautiful.

Its been cold since morning,and yet not too cold. The skies are a greyish blue but not dark enough to give it a gloomy expression. I’m tightly holding on to its soothing nature as much as I can, afraid that this feeling might just slip away before I know it. At peace, I’d call it..Isn’t this what we always chase? The peace of mind, the silent happiness. And here I’ve got it without moving as much as a finger. Yet I know that it’s short lived. The time will soon pass by and with the next responsibility that I remember, it will disappear without a trace. We work hard, chasing dreams and luxury to bequeath contentment on ourselves. Yet, without realising it, we move away when true joy is sitting right beside us. Heatedly pursuing money, a comfortable house, an ability to buy what we want. Finally when we get there, we feel immense delight, at that instant. But as the days pass by, even though this is exactly what we wanted…it still hasn’t given us the real happiness we wished for all along. And when I’m in my withered years, when I truly wish to take a stroll by that pretty little wilderness in the arcade, my weak knees probably will pull me back making me regret that I never took walks when I possessed the vigor to take one. Or wishing that when it rained, I had just sat out in the open lying on that comfortable hammock or taken that nice soak in my tub with the sweet smelling bath salts, looking at the mist settled on my frosted window. Right now, I wish I was in a quaint little café with the smell of cinammon in the air. Lit only by skylights and with modest. wooden furnishing. Big white french windows with potted plants on the sill. The peal of the bell ringing each time someone walks in. With me curled up in a corner with a nice book and a cup of sweet and spicy tea. The image of it all seems like paradise..Isn’t that what heaven’s all about? Unadulterated joy. Despite this pretty picture in my head, I do know that if I spot a gorgeous pair of shoes displayed in a showroom, being able to buy it would also make me happy. The ability to buy myself luxury is essential to my happiness as well. That would mean that I would have to chase success and money. I seem to be wanting two completely contrasting lifestyles simultaneously. But the answer to how I would live both side by side is still a haze. An experiment Im still working on. And I truly hope that I’m led towards the right answer soon.Amen.

A Foggy Future

2009-01-27T05:12:00.000-08:00

A nervous chill runs down my spine.
Dust and sweat prickle on my skin.
An eerie drone fills the melancholy void
It clamps my heart from deep within.

Gaunt and lifeless, brittle and brown
Withered, they lay, leaves scattered by
I hear them crumble with every step I take
Disrupting the stillness despite many a try.

Wary, I tread ahead on the meandering trail
Into a hazy horizon, it disappears
I dread to think what peril lurks beyond
Every stride into the unknown adds to my fears

Why must have I left that habitual path?
Where the trees beckoned me to come hither
A land where the breeze, oh so ambrosial,
Gently nudged me to pace further.

Numbed by a sudden remorse,
In my tracks, I froze
A sparkle, I espied, glimmering bright
A dewdrop on a wild rose.

The sweet fragrance of earth wafted by
Rays shimmered through the canopy
A familiar sight greeted my eyes
Was I walking into a reverie?

I glanced around once more.
The path hadn’t changed, it was I
Anxious to embrace a route nouveau
I had been afraid to even try.

There is a pleasure in the pathless woods
A honeyed babble plays on the breeze
A smile quivers on my lips once more
My timorous heart is yet again at ease.

The distant horizon may be obscure
Yet I’ve faith it isn’t filled with gloom.
Every hopeful stride I take
Awaits new flowers in bloom.

My 'very own' PhD on Love !

2008-10-13T21:21:00.000-07:00

Considering that advice on love seems to be the latest 'in-thing' for blogging, here's my very own Phd on Love. Those who haven't read the first edition of PhD on love, do check www.kamotim.wordpress.com. However, since I find it rather cumbersome to write the papers on Love all by myself, I've attached links to tell you where you can find these articles. Miraculously, they also happen to be the source for the former blog.

Paper 1: 8 Mistakes theory - This is an ebook easily available on DC++.

Paper 2: Love, its Rules and a Game - Check out this link.

http://journey.reneealexandrea.com/how-women-score-men/

Paper 3: Rules according to men - Well, this was a ppt circulated among the chemical final yr batch..Ask any one of them for your very own copy!

Paper 4: What girls really mean to say. - Well..I couldn't find this one. So, www.kamotim.wordpress.com is where u should look..Though I'm hoping that this particular blogger will soon tell me where he found this paper so that I can update my list.

Paper 5: How 2 impress women? Another link.

http://www.doubleyourdating.ca/articles/0001-how-to-impress-any-woman.htm

Paper 6: The Six things that really attract women.

http://www.eseduce.com/the-six-things-that-attract-women-by-david-deangelo

Ah. I'm done. Hope you had as much fun reading as much as I did while writing, oops, compiling them. :)

The Red Balloon

2008-10-08T23:41:00.001-07:00

As I lightly shuffle my feet,
Jostle my way through the marketplace.
Cries of vendors penetrate the dust,
whilst a bead of sweat trickles down my face.

A glistening red grasps my glance.
A child's fantasy, I espy.
Playfully tugging at its fastened twine,
A round, red balloon yearning to fly.

A smile plays softly on my lips.
My heart flutters as I watch it dance.
Blind to the treasure of toys around,
I feel it beckon to hold it in my arms.

Propelled by a desire naive,
I'm drawn to it like a moth to a light.
Stalled by an image of a young woman with a balloon,
Reality soon mists my craving out of sight.

Standing on the threshold of youth,
Armed to build a new life ahead.
Here I am, melted by just a balloon,
Wishing I could give it all up instead.

Perhaps if I embraced it just once,
To play with it an entire day.
Would I feel that buoyancy,
so resonant of a balloon's gait?

Being childlike didn't make me a child again.
I could play on the swing and fly my kite.
Dance while it rained on the streets,
Yet, all it bestowed was a moment's respite.

Though the moment has almost flown away,
I'm still enveloped in a lingering cheer.
Aroused from a languid monotony,
A twinkle in my eye does often appear. :)

Akshata Rao

Love's Labour Lost

2008-06-12T03:04:00.000-07:00

It's been quite a while since I last added to my humble collection of blog posts. I was unable to find anything that inspired or rather compelled me to portray my thoughts on paper. However, the truth is that unless you're willing to open your eyes and look around, you'll never spot it. Which would explain my abstinence from writing as a result of self-perpetrated blindness to everything else. For the past month and a half, I've been daily visiting the lush campus of IISc, Bangalore.
Routine-driven, I walk by the same lane each day barely noticing the irony smeared on the splendor that surrounds me. Dim lights glimmer beneath the dark canopy of trees assuring me of a humane touch to the forlorn paths. I couldn't help feeling faintly jealous of the residents , for whom an early morning stroll, laden with ambrosial freshness and a soothing calm , was a daily affair. Or for whom, a leisurely walk beneath the starry skies, armed to melt any cold heart, was just a step away.
I glanced again at the Eden around me to realize that the truth was startlingly different. Not once had I seen a student or a professor gazing at it with an equivalent reverence or awe. More often than not, I'd see them scurrying down the lane, speeding away on their bicycles with an occasional turn of the head, only to avoid traffic. Some mulling plans in their mind, determined to figure out the missing piece in their research and some involved in a heated discussion with colleagues. The silent connoisseur was ,sadly, absent.
Perhaps, this was a reiteration of the greener grass across the fence. Although the charm never faded, the ardor did. Well, they say, a thing of beauty is a joy forever or Is it?

'How-to' write a song - Bollywood ishtyle

2008-02-02T23:08:00.000-08:00

Bollywood lyricists seem to have hit an all-time low. As more movies flood the markets, there is a sudden dearth of good song-writers and the void happens to be filled by every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to make a quick buck. Of course, we still have the likes of Gulzar who have tried their best to maintain lyricism as an art form. Well, you too could become the new-age lyricist within no time. All it takes is a bit of observation and words will flow in.

Situation 1: Male Lead expressing his love for his heroine.

Must-use words: pyar, ishq, mohabbat, ( More the synonyms for love ,the better) , bechain, hai, dil, (deewana – parwana) , nakhre, dhadkan, saansen.

Must–use phrases: neend ud gaya, chain ud gayi, tera jadoo, main tere upar marta hoon..sapno mein aaye.

To add a dash of Punjabi: soniye, Rab, gal,.. See! It’s that simple.

Situation 2: The Female lead expressing her love ( Note that the above words are included too)

Must-use words: piya, maahi, sajna, -( Focus on synonyms for ‘lover’, this time) ,chunariya, dupatta ( even if your heroine is always dressed in western outfits in the movie)

Must-use phrases: Neend na aaye - Yaad sataaye, (piya – jiya) duet,

For the Punjabi – touch: Mahiya, Rajna, yaara etc.

Situation 3: The 'we're cool’ couple song

Put in english words – crazy, I wanna, yeah..yeah, you’re mine, baby..In short, cut-copy-paste from a Britney Spears track.

Anxious that the lyrics might not strike a chord with the scores of Bollywood music lovers? Fear not! Camouflage comes to the rescue in the form of a catchy tune, superstars flaunting 6-pack abs or curves, semi-clad Russian blondes dancing in the video and lo! --you’ve just engineered a song that will soar up the charts rapidly. The downside – After a year, your composition would be replaced by another similar quick-fix track. Why despair though? You probably would have written that one too. :)

Taaren Zameen Par - A Review

2008-01-21T01:25:00.000-08:00

Simple yet so touching... A social message passed on without being too preachy about it. The movie has it all, a gripping storyline, talented actors and social relevance. The story revolves around an eight yr old dyslexic boy misunderstood by everyone around him, including his family. Harsh treatment drives him to a point where he withdraws himself into a small cocoon distancing himself from painting as well, his favourite hobby . The story soon witnesses a turn of events when the boy's art teacher recognises his problem and helps him get the better of it leaving everyone spellbound by the artistic genius in him. A happy ending after all.... Although the focus is on the hassles faced by a dyslexic child, quite a lot of youngsters can connect to it having been in similiar situations. Constant comparison with the best student, incessant nagging to achieve what the parent thinks is best for his kid , eventually spurring an angry rebellion or silent suppression as the child's response. The movie brought forth the immense use of enjoyable methods of learning..Methods which are generally assumed to be a complete waste of valuable time. On the whole, TZP proves to be an eye-opener to people of all ages and in every role. I quote a particular line from the movie which said it all..."When people desperately want their kids to excel every time they try, they should think about breeding race horses instead".

The Intelligentsia Library

2007-12-01T00:39:00.000-08:00

You must have read the Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand..Well, if you haven't, then don't fret..Very soon, you too might join the ever-growing list of it's passionate readers. It's pretty amusing how quite a bunch of them actually read the book so that they can exhibit their pseudo-intellect. They evoke 'brilliant' conversations about it and depending on how they wish to be recognised, they either conform to the popular opinion about the book or attempt to shock by giving a drastically different view. I'm trying hard here to not be completely disdainful of the followers of Ayn Rand's novels..After all,I'm one of them too:) Eventually, the book has transformed into a symbol representing all those accomplishments which some truly possess and some pretend to.. Unfortunately for the latter, if the majority decide to turn their backs to that quality, they'll have a tough time trying to reverse the effects of their 'pretence period'. Don't interpret my words as an expression of dislike for this lot..I am as fond of them as I'm of Donald Duck.

Wah re Media!

2007-10-20T08:21:00.000-07:00

Another stagnant,bleary Saturday afternoon...I pick up my copy of the newspaper and skim through the headlines.Splashed across the front page are photographs including a blurb about the recent blasts in Karachi. Slightly reeling from the thrust of the gory images, I feel a familiar rage simmering inside me. Not surprisingly, all that anger is directed not at the law-breakers,but the media at its manipulative best. It does seem to have a penchant for sensationalizing the slightest scrap of news it can pick up. And right across the front page.>Despite the hope we accrue from a delighted observation of improving conditions of life, the media kills a spirit of optimism in the most of us. Oh,the media definitely does print articles which have a feel good factor about them. But on page 5 or 11..hidden behind a sheath of depressing incidents that occured a day earlier. I try hard ,in vain, to apprehend what instigates/inspires them to print articles conveying unrest and dissatisfaction before the ones that spread good cheer.Undoubtedly,it IS the duty of the newspapers to inform their readers of the important events, of every kind, around the globe.All I ask for is some social consciousness on their part.If they do have a power to influence public opinion, why not make that constructive? Why not break the fall with a cushion over hard ground?

Lyrics of 'Vienna'

2007-10-19T02:57:00.000-07:00

Lyrics that have always struck me hard every time I listened to them..

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me
whyAre you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through

When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Too bad but it's the life you lead

You're so ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you're wrong
You know you can't always see when you're right

You got your passion you got your pride
But don't you know that only fools are satisfied?
Dream on but don't imagine they'll all come true

When will you realizeVienna waits for you
Slow down you crazy child

Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It's alright you can afford to lose a day or two

When will you realize...Vienna waits for you.

A freedom movement for women??

2007-10-19T02:01:00.000-07:00

One of the most cliched topics i've heard and more often than not,I find it useless to discuss it. The usual ramblings about "How women are more independent now and how they are making a mark in every field previously dominated by men"..Somehow,I find the essence of feminity fading away in the quest by women to prove themselves as equals.
A lot of them have unconsciously decided that to 'attain the status' of a man,one must accomplish everything that a male can to the same degree(not higher,but same). If men find mountaineering challenging and fun, we must do it so that we can prove ourselves as parallels..Sadly, the idea of freedom has been quashed under the weight of such an attitude as we chain our actions to what men do and think.
Well,what can i say? Women are women.If they think like they have been designed to, placing family above personal goals, housekeeping over the assignments at work, a love for the arts equivalent to or over science...it cannot be judged as a lack of ambition,just as a difference in priorities. Women have to appreciate the fact that their role's a lot more challenging yet done with ease. Even if that role may be considered inferior by 'society', there's no reason whatsoever to compell women to think alike.
She who belongs to the gentle sex needn't immerse herself in pursuit of the much-sought after ambitions of a man, unless the interest is genuine.She could just be herself.

Footsteps on the Sand...

2007-10-19T01:53:00.000-07:00

A soothing murmur fills the air
As the waves entrance the shore
Streaks of white across the blue
A glimmer of gold around the core

They bring with them little bits of tales
On the sands, of time, they lay
Pebbles, creatures, carved shells by
Sand castles and bottles cast away

Overwhelmed by the enchantment around
I sit down and play with the grains of sand
Sobered by the lull I hear
I’m transported to another land

Lost in a reverie,
Contemplating life in its stead
We struggle away the years we have
Only to comprehend life on our deathbed.

The goals we choose, the dreams we chase
Strife and struggle, fantasy and frolic
Volatile as every moment ticks away
Reality seems so ironic.

We strive to plan the entire schedule
And fate proposes another route
Although the futility dawns on us,
We pester our children to follow suit

Our desires never seem to cease
Despite needs fulfilled, we still want more.
We forget that it’s the game that counts,
And not the final score.

The links of love, we all craft
To end most as a severing of ties
Another bitter moment in the saga of life
Are these the signs of ‘being wise’?

Perhaps it’s not about the end
The journey maybe the true essence
Like a ride in a rollercoaster
What matters most is the experience.

From the web of thoughts, I emerge
Awakened by a distant call
I walk back along the path I came
Restoring my verve with every footfall.