Its been cold since morning,and yet not too cold. The skies are a greyish blue but not dark enough to give it a gloomy expression. I’m tightly holding on to its soothing nature as much as I can, afraid that this feeling might just slip away before I know it. At peace, I’d call it..Isn’t this what we always chase? The peace of mind, the silent happiness. And here I’ve got it without moving as much as a finger. Yet I know that it’s short lived. The time will soon pass by and with the next responsibility that I remember, it will disappear without a trace. We work hard, chasing dreams and luxury to bequeath contentment on ourselves. Yet, without realising it, we move away when true joy is sitting right beside us. Heatedly pursuing money, a comfortable house, an ability to buy what we want. Finally when we get there, we feel immense delight, at that instant. But as the days pass by, even though this is exactly what we wanted…it still hasn’t given us the real happiness we wished for all along. And when I’m in my withered years, when I truly wish to take a stroll by that pretty little wilderness in the arcade, my weak knees probably will pull me back making me regret that I never took walks when I possessed the vigor to take one. Or wishing that when it rained, I had just sat out in the open lying on that comfortable hammock or taken that nice soak in my tub with the sweet smelling bath salts, looking at the mist settled on my frosted window. Right now, I wish I was in a quaint little café with the smell of cinammon in the air. Lit only by skylights and with modest. wooden furnishing. Big white french windows with potted plants on the sill. The peal of the bell ringing each time someone walks in. With me curled up in a corner with a nice book and a cup of sweet and spicy tea. The image of it all seems like paradise..Isn’t that what heaven’s all about? Unadulterated joy. Despite this pretty picture in my head, I do know that if I spot a gorgeous pair of shoes displayed in a showroom, being able to buy it would also make me happy. The ability to buy myself luxury is essential to my happiness as well. That would mean that I would have to chase success and money. I seem to be wanting two completely contrasting lifestyles simultaneously. But the answer to how I would live both side by side is still a haze. An experiment Im still working on. And I truly hope that I’m led towards the right answer soon.Amen.
3 years ago